28 February 2872
Interdimensional Space
Jess Fens (Male)
Transmitted February 2016

So Schrodinger’s Cat always gets a bad rep not only because her existence has changed quantum mechanics forever, but the story goes Schrodinger cared so little for his own cat that he was willing to endanger her simply for a thought experiment. Just kidding, he didn’t even have a cat. He made the cat up. But you have got to wonder if he hates cats at least subconsciously getting a kick out of imagining one trapped in a steel pen with radioactive waste and a broken flask of deadly poison. He even entertains the thought that the cat might be dead from eating the poison or giving to radioactive exposure. 

Schrodinger was a physicist who conducted this experiment in his head in 1935. The idea Schrodinger posited was whether the cat was alive or dead inside the pen with the radioactive waste and poison. The typical response is that the cat is neither alive nor dead until one opens the pen and sees for oneself — the falling tree doesn’t make a sound in the forest when no one’s around, right? Wrong! Schrodinger hypothesized that the cat is both dead and alive in two separate universes until the pen is opened. In that way Schrodinger hypothesized that multiple universes are created and dissipated with regularity in our world, faster than you can ask what happened to the hotdog you just set on the table. (Is the hotdog gone or there before you figure out where it went?)

Physicists and storytellers have since hypothesized that there are more than just two possible parallel universes, dead cat or alive cat, entertaining the thought that there are hundreds of thousands, or even billions of parallel universes. The issue with these hypo-theses is the assumption that there are no eschatological events which limit the amount of universes that can exist. For instance, two universes exist with the cat until someone opens the pen and then only one world exists, the multiverse is shut, locked to one.

A more real life example of this is the present. The present is final and sure. You have only one outfit on right now from this morning, even though you had many outfits to choose from. So after your morning shower, the future provided nearly infinite universes in which you could have worn a different outfit, but you chose one and that shut the possibility for that multiverse. Now you only have the one on as distinct from any other one you could have chosen this morning. 

So the future offers infinite parallel universes to our own, while the present offers only one. And while the past may seem malleable and changing, it is not by nature. It too is locked and final because the pen door has been opened, many many years ago. The past looks like a multiplicity only because it is privy to our opinion, our bias, and our lack of documentation, but make no mistake, the past is just as final as the present. You wore a monkey costume to a fancy dinner two years ago and no matter how much you may wish for a multiverse to change your outfit that day, your friends are never going to let you forget it. 

In that sense, what is the difference between the past and the present? Isn’t the present just the immediate past or the immediate future depending on whether the multiverse is open or not? I posit there is no present; we made it up to feel good about ourselves for forgetting the past and ruining the future, but that’s strictly my opinion on the matter. 

So the future holds infinite possibilities, but do they know about the others? And if they do, can they communicate with each other and somehow bridge the gap? Can future me somehow talk to another future me and collaborate on what they’ve done well and what they haven’t done well? Could they somehow send that inform-ation back to me so I don’t have to worry so much about every little decision? (I mean was getting the hotdog the right thing to do? I wouldn’t have eaten the hamburger so quickly … )

Well, here it is! The great reveal! I’m a kid from the future. I have talked and met with my other selves in the other universe. We’ve been trying to decide what to tell you guys in the past. Tada! Don’t believe me? Why would I go through that long explanation about Schrodinger’s cat just to tell you he was an idiot and there is no such thing as a multiverse? I mean are you joking me? I’ve got a lot of other cool things I’d rather be doing than trying to convince you I come from the future, believe me! So can you just skip all your whining and doubting, and just believe me when I tell you I AM FROM THE FUTURE?

Now read my book and read it carefully, because I’m never going to help you guys in 2016 ever again, y’hear? I’ve tried in so many different years to my utter failure that I think I might cry. So be good ancient human beings and actually get it through your thick skulls that YOU ARE PUTTING FINALIZING TOUCHES TO YOUR MULTIVERSE AT THIS VERY MOMENT AND YOU DON’T CARE! So care.

You can read the book by leaving the blog portion of this website that Micah has set up for me and going to the main portion at Then you can read it at your leisure. If you have any questions ask Micah. Seriously he’s a genius. One of my selves claims he’s got the highest IQ ever recorded. That’s why we chose him to send this message out and to publish our book. Soon to be on Amazon and hard cover. 

Editor’s note: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of